Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Weekend Update #22, Triathlon and Cupboards

Friday ended the longest week ever!!!!! The whole week at work had been murder...but the office on Friday was eerily quiet.

The calm before the storm.

On my way home, I'd decided it would be a full evening. 1) I wanted to catch up on season 1 of True Blood, so I could start watching season 2....and 2) I desperately needed to pay bills.

I made myself a quick dinner, gathered my bill paying materials, and sat down in front of the TV. I hit the On Demand button on the remote, and selected True Blood.

In the last week, our cable network (or HBO?) removed season 1 from the menu. (sigh)

So, I pouted...by watching really bad TV, and ignoring the bills.

But they kept staring at me.....unrelenting. Until I finally paid them all.

Stupid things!!

Saturday was a good day. Mot came home from work, and we headed out to run some errands. I found a couple Stephen King audio books on sale for $6 a pop at Borders...score, and Mot picked up a couple new books at Borders. Then we sauntered down to the brewery for lunch.

Anyone seeing us either walking in or out surely thought we were alcoholics...we had one growler to fill for our house...and two I was going to take with me to Des Moines for Sheila. :-)

After lunch, I dropped Mot off at home, and headed out of town. The drive went really quickly since I had some new audio books to listen to.

Thank goodness....that drive is so boring, and our vehicles can pretty much do it on autopilot now. :-)

The weather was looking a little sketchy when I arrived, so we decided to do some shopping.

Mel and Sheila scored an awesome deal on a new TV, while I sat in the BlueRay section and watched the newest Spiderman movie in the recliners. :-)

Once home, we spent the evening rearranging the furniture in their living room. Then we sat down and watched a movie on the new TV.

Well...we started it. I just not that into "He's Just Not That Into You." I had high hopes....and my hopes were promptly crushed. Stomped into the ground. Then spat upon. :-)

Up at 4am, so we could get to the triathlon site and on the water by 5am. The athletes were allowed onto the water at sunrise, and we had to be out and ready for their warm up swims.

There were 37 kayaks, 6 or 7 jet skis, and a couple pontoon boats on the water support team. And it's no wonder. I'm not sure on the exact count of participants this year...but I'd guess just under 2000. (??)

(The water support team getting their final instructions.)

(Mel and I hanging out on the water, waiting for the sun to come up so swimmers could warm up.)

(One of the jet ski teams...driver and life guard.)

(My view of the starting point. Sorry about the blurry shots. I was trying to NOT look like a newbie taking pictures. So I didn't use a flash.)

The athletes were sent into the water in groups, to keep things from getting jammed up, and dangerous.

What a rush seeing the swimmers coming at you.....the sound is what I imagine it sounds like when salmon are rushing upstream. The groups actually produced wakes that rocked my boat around quite a bit.

There were swimmers of all ranges.....age and abilities...out on the water yesterday. They were allowed to hang onto our boats, the pontoons, and the large inflatable route markers...without penalty. (as long as we didn't paddle anywhere) I had quite a large number of people who needed to stop and rest. I stopped counting after a dozen.

All of them were men.

Interesting? I thought so.

One guy was not doing well, and I paddled over to check out the situation. He was obviously a little "off." I told him to hang onto the boat and rest a little...and he was relieved.

After talking to him for a while, I found out he'd gotten kicked in the head, and it had freaked him out. Once he got his heart to relax a little, and the fear of getting kicked again had subsided, he went on his merry way.

But, the most memorable swimmer of the afternoon came along not long after.

We'll call him white head, since he was wearing a white swim cap.

White head had issues from the moment I saw him. Why did I pick him out of the crowd? Well, because he was swimming the wrong direction. I paddled out to tell him to turn around.

I yelled, I screamed...I hit the water with my paddle right by his head. Nothing...he just kept swimming.

Race organizers provided us with swim noodles, to offer the swimmers, or to use as self defense, if needed. (I was still thinking my paddle was my preferred weapon...heck with the foam noodle!!) I was getting ready to smack him in the leg with the noodle, when he finally opened his eyes (he was doing the backstroke)

I told him he was going the wrong way....he cussed, smiled...then turned around.


It wasn't long before he was swimming back to the start. So I caught up to him again. Repeated the yelling and screaming...and got his attention.

"Do you mean to swim back to the start?"

He cussed some more.

I told him to grab the boat and take a break. He'd probably gone twice as far as the other participants already...in circles.

When he was ready to head out again....I pointed in the right direction. He looked where I pointed....nodded.....then took off swimming.

The wrong way!!!!

Not only the wrong way....but he was heading right for the pack of swimmers passing by. He went into the group, perpendicular to their route. Taking swimmers out along the way.

I was beginning to wonder about the mental stability of our swimmer. Was he always this confused? Was he new to racing, and just a little overwhelmed?

Everyone who made contact with him seemed to be fine, so I rounded him up....and turned him in the right direction...again.

I followed him until I got to Mel, in the next sector. I pointed at him, and passed him off to her.

Instead of doing the same (as had the people before me), she ended up following him the whole race.

By the time it was all said and done....the guy had gone probably 4 times are far as everyone else, but never gave up.

(You can't really see it in this shot, but the swimmer is pulling that kayak. He also biked and ran with his passenger in tow.)

Once all the swimmers were safely to shore (there were no incidents) we paddled back to the boat ramp to load up.

Our route out of the park was blocked by the biking portion of the race, so we had to wait until all the bikes were done. (I really hoped white head was a faster biker, than swimmer!!)

After loading the trailer, Mel and I went up to the race route, sat down...and watched the bikers and runners.

I have to admit, I was amazed by all the different people participating. There were some very large humans out there, doing what I had convinced myself I wasn't in shape to do.

They put me to shame.

Granted, they weren't the fastest, but they were doing it. Far more than I could say.

If only I could swim....I'd try that triathlon stuff myself. :-)

I know they do triathlons were you kayak instead of swim. I need to find some of those, and think about doing one. I mean, why not????

Once we were able to leave, we stopped by and picked up Sheila, then headed out for breakfast. Mel and I were starving. We hadn't eaten yet...it was 11 am, and had been up working since 4 am.

Instead of going to the art festival in downtown Des Moines...we collapsed on their newly arranged living room furniture after breakfast. I figured I'd better get on the road...or I wasn't EVER going to get on the road.

That couch was really, really, really comfy! :-)

When I got home, I walked straight to the bedroom and fell asleep. The drive home was scary. I hadn't realized how tired I was.

Danny called later in the afternoon. He had more cupboard doors to bring over and install (he's refacing our kitchen doors in batches...and they look AWESOME!!!)

5 minutes after he'd left, mom and grandma stopped by.

After they left, I went back to bed. :-)

Monday, June 29, 2009

It's got to be done.

You see....everyone, and their mother, is probably blogging about Michael Jackson. Some love him, some hate him.....some lost their love once his life started spiraling out of control.

I don't really have an opinion.

I now present to you, my "Way Back When-sday" posting..........on Monday. In honor of Michael Jackson.

I think it was 4th grade....but maybe not. It was either 2nd, 3rd or 4th. Take your pick.

There was a boy in my class that was diagnosed with cancer. He eventually received a bone marrow transplant, and then passed away around 8th grade. He was never well, and really didn't come to school much...if at all.

For Christmas, when I was in 4th (?) grade, our teachers decided to put on a Christmas play, and he was brought to school so we could perform it for him.

Even now, the details of the play are a little sketchy in my head....but it had something to do with an angel losing her wings, or her smile...or something. She was one of the smaller girls in the class, and she spent the whole play whining and crying about losing whatever it was that she'd lost and wanting it back.

It could have been Cinderella losing a shoe for all I really remember...but the angel thing fits with the whole Christmas genre a little better....so we'll go with that.

After a couple rehearsals, I was ready to find whatever it was myself just to make it stop.

She played the whining part well.

Too well. :-)

It was then the goal of the other characters in the play to spend the rest of the performance trying to cheer her up.

Frosty the Snowman danced to his namesake song.

St. Nick and his reindeer stopped by.

There were a handful of guys dressed as the reindeer...whose costumes, to this day, crack me up. More specifically, their horns. They had pantyhose stuck on their heads like hats....and toilet paper tubes in the legs to create the horns.

Oh the imagination of elementary school teachers!! :-)

I was one of the sugarplum fairies. And what did we do to try and cheer up the sniveling brat heart-broken child??? We danced, of course.

Isn't that what the sugarplum people are known for?

It was horrible. Not the performance so much as the choice of music.

You see....I'd taken dance since I was 3. The two other girls had taken it for quite some time as well...but from a different studio.

Since they already knew a choreographed dance, I was outnumbered, and had to learn their dance.

For a couple hours one afternoon, we got together to practice.

For the performance, they dressed in matching costumes...because, again, they had them. And again, I was odd man out and had to wear something completely different of my own. (sigh)

If I recall, their outfits were blue, and mine was orange. (Denver Broncos fans weren't complaining I'm sure) :-)

And you'll never guess what song we sugarplum fairies danced to?

For an elementary Christmas program.

For a classmate dying of cancer.


Oh yeah....very appropriate.


Friday, June 26, 2009

Mot vs the Printer

Two posts in one day...and on a Friday none the less. But hey, it's my blog anniversary, and I can post again if I want to!!!! :-)

Mot was upstairs on his computer last night, playing in some Quake tournament. Mom and I were downstairs in our living room, working on the laptops.

Greedily soaking the life from his 'ping.'

I can only assume he gave up playing, and switched to surfing the net. Because after some time we hear this from upstairs...

Mot: "AArrrrggggghhhhhh.....this f**king printer sucks donkey balls!!!"

(mumble, mumble, slam)

Mot: "F**k. Just print, you stupid piece of cow sh*t!"

Nej: "What's up babe?"

Mot: "You. Piece. Of. Crap."

(slam, bang....crunch) You can hear pieces of plastics being flexed to just under their breaking point.

Nej: "You gonna go all office space on it's a$$, honey?"

Mot : "PC load letter - what the f*ck does that mean?" (At least he still had his sense of humor!)

Mot: "Well no wonder it does that! What kind of piece of shit design is this? What numb nuts decided that would be a good idea."

After some more cussing, and threats of throwing it out the upstairs window, and promises of killing it's first born child...I hear the tell-tale 'thump thump thump' of Mot trudging down the stairs.

In his hands are three pieces of paper.

Well, one can only assume it was once paper.

The objects he was holding in his hands resembled the tangled mess you get when trying to find a paper jam in an office copy machine.

The top right hand corners were all perfectly, and separately dog-eared. The pages themselves were smudged, smeared and splattered with black and brown globs of wet ink and dry ink dust.

In addition, the words printed on the pages were cockeyed and sideways.

You could see Mot's hands visibly shaking when he held the pages out for us to see.

Mot: "What's wrong with this picture?"

Mot vs Printer, Printer wins.

Image Source

Prom Nightmares

Today is my blogging 1 year anniversary!!!!!

"Celebrate, celebrate, dance to the music!"

And "today we're gonna party like it's 1999".....or rather 1992 - 1997. :-)

This post really has nothing to do with anniversaries....but I thought it would be a fun time to haul out the ol' boxes of pictures from the upstairs closet....and take a trip down memory lane.

Sit back, grab a cold beverage and join me....on a journey. A journey through that black and white door. A journey to a different dimension. You've just crossed over into......

....the prom twilight zone.

I dated one guy through high school, 3.5 years. We'll call him.....Glasses. Why? Well....because he wore glasses, duh!

Glasses and I met while in the school play together. He was a Junior, I was a Freshman. I went to his 2 proms, and he went to mine. Everyone thought we'd be together forever. Probably get married...the works.

(His dad was the one I watched soaps with one summer.)

He went to college in a town just down the highway from where we lived...so he was around for my junior and senior year. He transferred to Iowa State when I was about to graduate, and the relationship fell apart.

Might have been because he didn't call me the entire year he was there.

And then he couldn't figure out why I'd moved on with life and didn't want to date when he came back.....acting like he'd just talked to me the day before.



Anyway, past boyfriends...whole different blog post all together. :-)

Moving on......let the show begin.

(1992 Freshman Year) White bow in my hair...classic. Face, shoulders, legs - three different colors. Priceless!

(1993 - Sophomore year) I ditched "cute" for a red dress and heels. Small heels...but heels none the less. Awkward picture hand holding....ugh! And why is there a car behind us? Correction...1/3 of a car.

(1993 - Junior year) Found that dress at Goodwill. Pretty sure it was a bridesmaid dress in it's previous life.

I'll wait a minute for your eyes to adjust from the glare off that tux. It was his dad's though...made it cool.

No really, it did.

Why are you looking at me that way?

And now take a look at the background behind the tux. Yes, those are garbage bags. I think it was supposed to look like a mountain and water flowing down it. We were standing in front of the water...so it looks like we went to prom at the city dump. :-)

(1994 - Senior year) I went from bridesmaid to cocktail party dress. I drove my dad's Cadillac to prom that year. :-)

During my senior year, I started dating a freshman.


I know, I know.

We were buddies. We'll call him Jack.

I sang in a quartet of three guys and myself (I have a low voice - and could read music, unlike most of the guys, so I sang with the men in the high school choir.

Four of us got grouped together for a competition, or show, or something, and sang together for quite some time after that. County fairs, state fairs, weddings, etc. Our name "The Men and Jen Nej." :-)

Eventually, I started dating one of the guys in the group. He just happened to be younger than me, ok?? Geez!!!! :-)

We dated for 3.5 years too. Our breakup was of the "lying, cheating, bastard" kind. We eventually made up....but that's not saying I didn't threaten his life with a baseball bat.

What? I was mad!!

And he cheated.


Nevermind...like I said...a whole different blog post. Back to prom!!!

(1996) I don't have the actual prom picture anymore. My best friend burned all the pictures she could find with him in them. This one escaped. :-)

(1997) The group. Wish you could see that dress better. Of all of them, it's the one I kept. Don't know why, my bust is never going to fit into it again. But, it's a cool dress. :-)

So, there you have it. All 6 of 'em. Bad hair, horrible makeup, disastrous shoe choices and all.

It, in a way, represents like in general. Full of fond memories, and bad clothing choices. Did I have issues going to high school prom, as a college student? Oh hell yeah. Without question...but, as usual, did I really care what others thought? Nah!

We had fun, laughed, lived. What more is there??

Well, there's this....

I was feeling a little bad posting all these past pics of me with different dudes. Mot reads the blog and all.

You see, my grand scheme was to post similar pictures of the two of us....one of my prom pics, one of his.....my first birthday and one of his. But we don't have many of his childhood pictures here at home.

Notice I said "not many".

In all fairness...I posted pics of myself with past friends of the male persuasion...so here is a Mot counterpart picture I found while digging though the boxes.

Oh yeah...not just one, but two chicks.

I think we're even. :-)

Thursday, June 25, 2009

It's a wet, wet, wet, wet world.

It's wet out.

Not the normal wet because it's snowing, or because it's raining. Those are reasons that would make sense. Rain and snow = wet.

But here, the skies are blue, and grass is green.....and I have to swim to my car each night when I get off of work.

I actually brought a snorkel and swim fins with me today.

Add a little wind, and the world is my oyster convection oven.

Heat and humidity, you are the devils. I curse you!!!

I fart in your general direction. Your mothers were hamsters and your fathers smelt of elderberries. Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!!!

(peeking out from behind my hands) Did they listen? Are they gone?



Image Source

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Weekend Update #21, Kayaking, Sunburns and Movies

My weekend started early (thank goodness)!!!

I went home Thursday and got the Jeep packed and ready. I had to be out of town by 7:00 am Friday, to make it Des Moines in time for the triathlon orientation.

As usual, I made it to Des Moines in record time. It takes about 2 hours if you drive a normal (legal) speed....but it's just so darned boring. I usually make it in much better time!

I couldn't go as fast as I normally do, as I was stormed on the first hour of the trip.

The second half of the journey, I'd finally gotten out of the storm clouds....but they continued to follow me.

The storm literally cut I80 in half. I swear if I'd been driving west bound, I would have gotten rained on. While the east bound lanes were dry. :-)

Every time I drive to Des Moines, I pass this building.

I apologize for the quality of the picture...it was rush hour traffic. I was trying to take a picture in between light posts....while dodging commuters....and not miss my exit.

It's not the greatest pictures...but I call the building the R2D2 building. (click on the picture, so you can see it closer)

Mel and I left for the orientation about 45 minutes after I arrived. (how was I supposed to know the lake that hosts the triathlon is only 5 minutes away!?!?) :-)

We were still a little early for the meeting, so we strolled down to the event area to watch them getting the beach launch point ready.

The meeting was pretty standard. Be there by 5:00 am, wear your designated water safety shirts (which are cooler than hell, by the way!), don't forget your event passes....etc, etc. Swimmers will be instructed to hang onto the nose of your kayaks if they need to rest. If someone looks like they'll take you down with them...paddle away...or take other measures to save yourself.

(smacking them over the head with my paddle will be my other measure!!)

Once back at their house, we picked up Sheila and the three of us headed out for lunch. Mexican...yummy!! Then we went summer clothes shopping.

You see, the previous weekend, we were still wearing long pants and sweatshirts...maybe a tshirt if you were in the sun and not the shade.

This week, 99 degrees (before the heat index). Yuck!!!!

From there we headed home so Mel could take their son to the dentist.

That night we got take out Chinese food and rented a couple of movies. We ended up watching a movie they already owned though....The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.

Actually, only two of us ended up watching the movie. Mel had drug one of their camping mattresses into the living room so she could lie down and watch the movie.

She didn't stay awake long. :-)

At one point she woke up and asked us if she' d been snoring. She hadn't, and we told her as much. 10 seconds later, she was asleep again...and snoring up a storm!!! :-)

We all got up fairly early Saturday am. Mel made breakfast, banana bars...quite tasty!!!

After breakfast, we loaded up the yaks and headed for a lake south of Des Moines for some paddling...and water rescue practice.

It was a gorgeous day for paddling!!

Mel exploring the banks of the lake. She found an old duck egg....and for some reason, decided it would be a good idea to mess with it. Stinky! :-)

Sheila paddling ahead of us. I was taking pictures and falling behind. :-)

We pulled up on the beach for lunch. Sandwiches and chips we'd bought at the local grocery store.

There was a canoe class going on while we ate. The instructor is the same guy that taught my kayak classes when I first started paddling.

Teaching the class how to get back into your canoe, should it go over.

Mel, deep in thought. Watching the class.

After lunch, Mel and I went back into the water to climb on each others boats, and simulate what it will be like to have swimmers grabbing on, trying not to drown.

We stopped at an A&W on the way home for root beer floats.

Instead of going inside, she just walked up to the speaker and ordered from there. :-)

Once home, we watched some more movies. D.E.B.S. (cheesy, but funny)

Lucy: [on an awkward first date] So, you're an assassin.
Ninotchka: Da.
Lucy: How's that work?
Ninotchka: It's mostly freelance.

and then Underworld, Rise of the Lycans (dark, but good).

Lucian: Were you not afraid of them?
Raze: Yes, but I wanted to live.
Lucian: Are you afraid of me?
Raze: Yes.
Lucian: Well do not be. I will not bite... much.

I made sure I put plenty of sunblock on before we started paddling. But when I put my PFD (life jacket) on, it much have moved the straps to my swimsuit top....because I had the craziest sunburns that night.

Ladies, imagine if you will (guys - those that have worn a bra can imagine as well.....don't deny it, I know you've done it at least once.....there are pictures.....I'll send my blackmail demands later!)......so...imagine putting red paint on the under side of your bra staps. Then put that bra on.

When you take it off...there will be a red stripe, from the top of your shoulder, down to just under your shoulder blade.

That's what my sunburn looks like. 2 stripes, one on each side. About half an inch wide.....from the top of my shoulder to the bottom of my shoulder blades.

And now, every day, I have to put a bra on...and it sits on that sunburn all day.

All. Day. Long.

I snuck out of the house by 6:00 on Sunday am...before anyone was awake. I wanted to be home as close as I could to when Mot was getting off of work.

He'd been home 30 minutes when I got there. I went back to bed, and we both slept until about 11:00.

We got up, found lunch, went to the grocery store, then went home to hide from the heat.

Hiding from the heat got boring at about 2:00...so we went to the theater to see The Proposal.

What is it reviewers sometimes say??? It was "laugh out loud funny. " :-)

Monday, June 22, 2009

Taming of the Shoes: These shoes are made for walkin'.

Mel pointed them out to me this weekend. Comfy, comfy, comfy!!! :-)

Friday, June 19, 2009

You can't make me!!!

Happy Friday Folks!!!! I've taken the day off to drive to Des Moines to see my buddies Mel and Sheila. Mel and I are on the kayak safety team for the HyVee Triathlon next weekend...and wanted to get out in our boats one more time before the big day.

Anyhoo...I'll be back around on Monday. Until then, I leave you with this little news story gem I found yesterday....

When a son, angry that his father had ordered him to clean up his room, screamed at Dad and threw a plate of food across the dinner table, Dad called 911. The son is 28-year-old Andrew Mizsak, who lives rent-free with his parents in the Cleveland suburb of Bedford, Ohio, and is a member of the Bedford School Board (and whose mom is a city councilwoman). After police arrived, the habitually untidy son apologized and, according to their report, "was sent to his room to clean it. He was crying uncontrollably." Subsequently, the school board punished Andrew by removing two of his duties. [Plain Dealer (Cleveland), 5-17-09]

I'm not quite sure what to say???

News Source
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Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Bird vs Window

The bird lost.

Whatever this white(ish) fluid is...it's been dripping down my window since he impacted. Stupid thing flew away, so it wasn't sudden death.

Scared the crap out of me. :-)

Not something you see every day...

Taken by my dad, from his truck this afternoon....at the intersection of Hickman Road and I80, in Des Moines, IA.

(Dad scored tickets to the races this weekend.)

His email subject line read "Indy has arrived in Iowa."

Million Dollar Idea

So...I drive a two door car. I've ridden in many a two door vehicle.

Why is it that all two door vehicles have doors that won't stay open when you open them? Maybe someone out there can answer? Is there a car designer reading this post???

Someone could make millions with the idea. A door that stays open when you open it.


I pull up into the parking lot at work today, about 8:05. I was late because I couldn't find anything to wear. I know, I know...how very cliche of me. :-)

I'm wearing a skirt. I'm not much of a skirt person, but find I wear them quite a bit in the summer, because I HATE THE HEAT...and skirts are like instant air conditioning.

I only mention what I was wearing, because the days I wear skirts are usually the days I wonder why the car door won't stay open.

I shut off the engine and realize I have quite a few things to carry this morning; purse, a lunch bag, my peanut butter-mocha-java-flax seed smoothie, and my car keys.

I open the car door enough for me to get out, but not enough to hit the car next to me. There's no wind, so leaving it open without holding on for dear life should be safe.

I turn away from the door to grab my loot.....and I hear the sound that ticks me off OH so much.


I look over and my car door has come closed.


I look at my lap, and stare at my skirt.


I open the door again (enough to get out, but not enough to hit the car next to me)....stick my leg out of the car to hold the door open....all the while praying someone doesn't drive by and admire the "view" I'm surely giving them.

I turn back to grab my pile of crap and then try to get out of the car.

My car sits low...so there's a dance move (of sorts) I have to do to get out from under the steering wheel without thumping my knees....raising myself into a standing position while trying not to hit my head....avoiding smacking my elbow on the window....shying away from getting my hair caught on the edge of the the visor.....and all the while, doing this with no hands (because I'm carrying a purse, a lunch bag, a smoothie and my car keys)............and only one leg, because the other one is still stuck out in front of me keeping the *&%^$@& car door from shutting on me yet again!!!


Weekend Update #20, The 40th Bday Special Edition (part 3, the finale)

You can read parts 1 and 2...here and here. :-)

The campground was pretty empty Friday night, but started to fill up on Saturday.

We had the whole tent camping area to ourselves, but it looked like we were going to have to share Saturday night. We had all hit the sack....or rather, sleeping bags...early Friday night. But we were planning on staying up and enjoying the night on Saturday.

Eventually all of the sites were full....except for 2. One immediately next to us, and one further down the road.

The site next to us ended up being occupied by a group of construction workers (actually, they were on a cable laying crew). Based on the cases of cheap beer, and their pillaging for trees to burn in their fire, we knew that we wouldn't be keeping them up late if we sat around the fire talking to all hours in the morning.

If only we knew then, what was to happen later that night!!

Between the kayaking, all the eating of horribly unhealthy food, and the fact that we were all just flat out being lazy....we still ended up crashing about 11:30.

I know, I know!! Sad really!!!

Anyway, we all fell asleep pretty quickly....but it didn't last long. About 1 hour to be exact.

The construction crew next to us were still up, drinking and talking around their fire. Which would have been perfectly FINE, if it wasn't for the fact a drunk couple (who nabbed the last camping site at 10:30) wondered by.

They saw the crew was still up, and they stopped to talk.

They were minors...and they were drunk.

Very drunk.

And her voice was fingernails on a chalkboard. Actually....if I had my choice, I'd pick the fingernails before I'd pick her.

As the night (morning) wore on.....she got louder and louder. Then the guys got louder and louder to compete with her, and get a word in.

She was a worthy opponent, let me just say. :-)

In order for my readers to get even a hint of what we were dealing with, I'll try and give you examples of what the conversations were.

"I think I'm going to be sick. I just need more Jack (Daniels) and I'll feel better."
She was tanked. Blasted. Blotto. Wasted. She was the only one drinking from the large bottle of Jack. And it was empty.

"I want to weigh 100 pounds. I won't be able to lift my baby, but I want to weigh 100 pounds."
She had a 2 1/2 month old baby at home. Being pregnant had NOT been good to her. Trust me.

"I had my baby through my tummy, not my vagina."
She then went on to show the guys her scar.

"I had to wrap the toilet 20 million times. It's gross in there. "
The facilities right by us were vault (pit) toilets. She had to roll her pant legs up. We've done allot of camping, and I can assure you, the restroom was actually very clean.

One of the guys asked her why she had to wrap the seat....why she had to sit on it. She replied...
"I have a vagina, not a penis...duh!!"

She also entertained us with these goodies.....
"I don't know what that means, buy you're stupid for saying it."

"I haven't drank for 9 months. I'm not drunk. Women are better dri......"
Followed by the sound of barfing.

Finally, Mot had had enough. He threw his sweatshirt on, and went to talk to them. He's used to dealing with drunks at work...so he was quite diplomatic about it. Plus, the girl wasn't there at the time...so he was just talking to the guys...who were, actually, really good guys. If she hadn't shown up, we wouldn't have been bothered.

I later found out that the girl was gone....because she was in the gross restroom puking her guts out. I'd LOVE to see her having to kneel on the floor her pant legs couldn't touch. :-)

Steve happened to be on the guy's side while she was in there. He'd wait until she was done...and then pee. If you've ever been in a vault toilet....you know you can hear when anyone is "relieving themselves." He said that he'd pee....she'd wail....and then puke some more. Classic!! (He's so evil, I love it!!!)

Mot was lucky enough to see her come back from the bathroom. She went to sit down on one of two coolers sitting next to each other. She sat on one, but just kept going right off the back side. Grabbing the other cooler on her way down. Both coolers then opened, and dumped ice and ice water all over her. She just laid there...moaning and wailing.

He just shook his head and came back to the tent...while they tried to shut her up. She was yelling, wailing.....near screaming. You'd think someone cut her leg off.

She then went back to the bathroom, for more puking. On her way back, she took a header into a campsite post. WHAM!! Face first. We could hear the crunch from where we laid.

"Ahhhh!!! I'm bleeding! I'm hurt!! There's blood!! I need a light!!"
They found a flashlight.
"Oh, OK...no blood. I'm OK"

The drama continued for another 30 minutes or so, before Mel finally couldn't take it any longer. She shot out of her tent, jumped in her truck, and peeled out of the area.

About then, the guy that was with the chick went running down the road back to his campsite. All the while his arms were waving and he was yelling "I'm a minor, I can't get busted. I'm a minor...I'm drunk!!"

Mel taking off got some of the construction crew to go to bed....they didn't want to be involved in any cops showing up.

The guy finally came back to get his girl. He was trying to walk her back to the campsite...but she'd basically passed out in the crew's area. Leaving your woman with strangers....classy.

Mel returned from trying to find a ranger (with no luck). She talked to the camp host, and they told her to call 911, and went back to bed.

I climbed out of the tent when she got back....hoping to calm her down a little. She's had a rough couple of weeks...and this was going to be the straw that broke her back. :-(

Sheila came out of her tent as well.

Mom popped out of her tent when she heard us talking...she also wasn't sleeping.

Steve climbed out of his truck (yep, he went in it to escape the noise)...and joined us.

We all watched the young man try and walk his girl back to their campsite. She was wailing, moaning, and b*tching the whole way. I've never heard anything so pathetic in my life.

By then, Mot had gone back to the tent....but we could hear him laughing. She had started making what sounded like a perfect elk call!!!! :-)

When they got back to their site, the puking began. It lasted for a good 45 minutes at least. We all laughed and laughed.

You could look down the row of campsites, and see we weren't the only ones not sleeping. In fact, I'm guessing no one was spared. As people walked by to the bathrooms, they'd stop and hang out around our fire (we started it back up, since no one was going to get any sleep).

Next thing we know, the dude brings his chick back by to the restrooms...for more puking. And this time was the worst. In that building, her "noises" echoed throughout the park. After they'd left, mom went to inspect. She'd puked on the walls, the floors...everywhere. :-(~

Once they got back to the site....

"Don't touch me. Why are you touching me? Help me get to the tent! Why are you touching me?"

"Take me home. Please take me home. Why are you touching me? Take me home."

It was then when other people in the campgrounds started chiming in. "Take the b*tch home already."

The commotion finally ended about 5:00-5:30 am. Eventually we all headed back to bed.

There is her bottle of Jack, left at the campsite next to us. When the guys woke up, they were pretty freaked out. People were taking pictures of their company truck and license plates.

They cleaned up the evidence and took off. The dummies actually had to work that day!!!

I got a couple hours of sleep. Thank goodness!! Danny brought Starbucks iced coffees for everyone. Mine was delivered to my door. :-) I guess they figured I needed it.

The boys were out cleaning their mess up when this picture was taken. Do you see the daggers shooting from my eyeballs?

We all decided to skip making breakfast. Just as we'd all finished packing up our gear, the DNR arrived on scene. She's apparently talked to the camp host that morning...and was directed to our end of the park.

She physically knocked on the side of their tent...then started shaking it. "Get up. Wake up. You kept everyone else up last night...time for you to get up."

She even started pulling the tent poles out and deflating their tent. :-)

(Mel and Sheila sitting on the picnic table...watching the show. We were all lined up on our two tables, watching. )

The dude eventually came out of the tent and starting packing things up. The b*tch also came out of the tent finally...still drunk...and obviously in pain.

The DNR chick found some beer cans at their site. "OK, you can stop packing and take a seat at that table. I'm going to need your ID's please. You aren't going anywhere. "

This was met with cheers from not just our site...but other sites in the area. :-)

She called the sheriff...but we left before they arrived. (Actually, they pulled into the park, and we were pulling out...darn it!!!)

Everyone taking the interstate home stopped at the McDonald's near the park for breakfast (everyone but mom....they live much closer to the park...and she goes a different way).

From there Mot and I went home, unloaded the Jeep and crashed on the couches in the living room. His official birthday was Sunday....and we spent it recovering from the weekend. :-)

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire

I recently started reading a blog written by San Diego Momma. On Tuesdays, she puts out a writing suggestion. Every time I see it, I think to myself, "Self, you should do this." And every Tuesday, something comes up, and I never get around to it. I recently jumped in with both feet, and it was fun.

So here goes this week's challenge.

PROMPTuesday #60: Lie to Me


What is your biggest contribution to the world?

My three gorgeous kids. They are brilliant...and are sure to make the world a better place. Samanta is top of her class in college. Chemical engineering is her major. Jordan just auditioned for the Boston ballet company. And little Natalie is well on her way to being the top speller in her 1st grade class.


What do your coworkers have that you wish was yours?

Patience. One more assault charge, and I lose my job.


What did you eat last night?

What didn't I eat last night? 3 pudding cups, 2 bags of microwave popcorn, a partridge and the whole d*mned pear tree!


What really lights your fire?

Van Morrison


What is the last thing that really pissed you off?

My brother in law's birthday showing up on my phone as the next 7 events on my calendar. What's with that??


Name something you hoard and keep from others.

20% off your entire purchase coupons from Bed, Bath, and Beyond. I know I'll never use them....but can't seem to part with them. You just never know when you need some Space Bags, a wine chiller you can plug into a cigarette lighter, a chair with speakers built into it or some massaging slippers.


What’s the laziest thing you ever did?

Asked my cat to bring me the remote because I couldn't reach it.

It had to happen...

It had to happen eventually, right?? Even though I don't pay that much attention...I noticed today I'm short one follower.

No idea when they left...they didn't say goodbye.

In a way it's sad. At first you think, wow, what they heck did I say?

But the OCD in me is thinking..."Well....20 is a more round number than 21, I guess." :-) :-)

Life goes on. :-) :-)

Weekend Update #20, The 40th Bday Special Edition (part 2)

You can read part 1 of the weekend here.

Saturday morning was gorgeous. Overcast and chilly. You could see your breath. I loved it!!!

Mel started a fire, while Sheila and I got breakfast moving.

Danny took advantage of the heat of the fire.

(Our tents lined up in a row. Picture taken by mom)

Late morning, the sun finally came out!! People started shedding jackets and sweatshirts pretty quickly.

Clotheslines were hung, and all of our wet clothes were allowed to finally start drying off.

Mom showed up at some point before lunch. Mel and Mot had taken the kayaks out to practice rolling. They were on their way back to the campsites when Mom pulled into the park. (She happened to have a tent in her trunk...and after some begging, we all got her to stay the night Saturday night. She might be rethinking that decision now though....Saturday night was...well....interesting to say the least.)

(This little guy enjoyed some scraps he found after lunch. Picture taken by mom)

Mel's brother, Patrick, spent most of the morning fishing...and came back with a bag full of fish to take home with him. The two siblings worked on getting them cleaned and packed.

(picture taken by mom)

Then Dad came on scene!!!! :-)

(check out his shirt!)

We got out the cake Mel bought for Mot, and had him blow out his candles. This amazing ugly cake actually changed colors, believe it or not. When she brought it to the campsite it was this ugly pea soup green...by the time we cut it, the frosting had turned yellow. :-)

I'm sure Mom started this. Or maybe it was Mot. :-)

Mot and I decided to take our kayaks out on the water before the rain moved back in. It was perfect paddling weather. Blue skies, big fluffy white clouds, warm temperatures.

Steve got to the campsite not long after we returned from paddling.

It was Mel's turn to cook dinner. She made pulled pork sandwiches, pork ribs, and foil packets of potatoes, peppers and sausage.

(picture taken by mom)

(picture taken by mom)

It was marvelous!!!!!

Steve brought a bday cake with him and we scarfed it down for dessert. :-)

(to be continued)