Thursday, June 4, 2009

You call that candy??

Natalie over at Curly Wurly Gurly released the topic for her June writing challenge.

The WORST candy in the history of mankind has to be seaweed.

Seaweed you say????

When I was in 7th or 8th grade, I took Karate classes from a dude from Okinawa. He was awesome!!! The parents of my best friend (whom I went to classes with) were also into martial arts. Kendo, if memory serves me correct.

Anyway, through the dojo her parents hosted an exchange student from Okinawa. He was a very large, very friendly guy. Sumo wrestler, or something like that. I remember him serving us alligator, and being fascinated with how cheap apples were to buy in the US.

One day, this gentlemen offered me a piece of candy.

Well.....I couldn't very well turn him down, could I?

It was shaped almost exactly like a Jolly Rancher...and was a deep purple color.

To a 7th grader purple = grape. Right?

Oh man was I wrong!!!

I put the thing in my mouth, and within seconds, it exploded. Well, maybe not BOOM!! exploded...but it grew in size...exponentially.

It was all I could do to not spew it on the carpet right there in front of him.

When I finally (subtly) made it to the bathroom....what I spit into the sink will haunt my dreams forever.

Seaweed....and lots of it!!! Ugh!!!!

You know, the more I right about the seaweed, the more I think I've already blogged about it in the past. I can't very well regurgitate a past blog post for a new writing challenge, can I?

OK, OK......I now present to you, The second worst candy in the history of mankind......KitKat.
My reasoning???

This is the picture we took, and put in our high school yearbook the year this candy became my second worst candy......

Can you see what we're trying to take a picture of there??

Worms!!!! We were in study hall. Four of us put our pennies together to get a candy bar. We broke the pieces apart, and everyone got their even share. And, what do high school students do when they find worms in their candy? They take a picture and put it in the yearbook, of course!!!!!


mo.stoneskin said...

Seaweed isn't candy?

I've disliked KitKats ever since the time at school when I munched one one that a bit of foil still on the under-side. I chewed for a while before I realised. Ugh. Makes me cringe.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

I've had a beer brewed with seaweed. It was interesting. And good.

I like the Kit Kats. Maybe a little less now.

Nej said...

@ Mo, seaweed isn't candy to me either. But I guess it is in Okinawa.

Ironically, I actually ate a KitKat this week....but I was really scrutinizing every bite. :-)

@ mjenks, Seaweed-brewed beer? I'm not a big beer drinker, just never developed the taste...but anytime a new one is ordered at our table, I make sure I try it. I'd try the seaweed one...why not?!?!? :-)

Employee No. 3699 said...

I don't know which one would be worse; seaweed or worms?

Nej said...

#3699, yeah, they are both in the same "food group" if you ask me...the "oh holy hell, I can't believe I just ate that" food group! :-)

Slyde said...

thats not "worms"

thats "flavor"!

Anonymous said...

i am fainting!!!!! i LOVE kitkats and you have ruined the experience for me! hahah. now i'll have to check eat bite i take. ew.

as for seaweed...i think it's best left in the ocean. (and no, i can't be tempted even when it's wrapped around some raw fish with sticky rice!)

Nej said...

@ Slyde...a little extra protein never killed anyone, right? :-)

@ CWG...The raw fish wouldn't be tempting to me normally, but I know the seaweed definitely wouldn't help. :-)

rambleicious said...

Wormy KitKat?? That is just nasty. Nasty!

Makes Eat-More bars look delicious in comparison.

Tony said...

oh man, I used to like KitKats

Nej said...

@ rambleicious, I'm going to have to go and read more about these Eat More bars you speak of. :-)

@ Tony, everyone seems to be saying that. Including me! :-)

Jena said...

That Kit Kat reminds me of my 8th grade history teacher telling us about biting into a Tootsie Roll and finding it was mostly rat hair.

Nej said...

@ Jena, rat hair tootsie roll???? Holy crap! Ewwwww!!! :-)