I have the itchiest (is that an actual word?) sunburn ever.
I'm as pale as they come...and I've had my un-fair share of sunburns in life. I once spent an entire day floating around a lake on a blow up raft thing. It was July, and hotter than heck outside. I was probably 13 and didn't know any better. At the end of the day, I went back to our campsite. As I was crawling into my tent for bed, I realized something was horribly wrong. I was unusually 'aware' of every inch of my skin on the back half of my body.
I asked a friend of mine to see if my back was sunburned.....and the look that she gave me after I turned around was enough to send chills up and down my spine.
(the chills may have been caused by the fact my skin was almost 700 degrees warmer than the outside air)
I was sunburned from top to bottom (so to speak). Picture in your mind...those gloves cheerleaders wear. Our school colors were red and white....so one side of their gloves were red...and the other white.
That is what I looked like. There was a perfect line down both of my sides. I was lobster red. It was crazy bad. Not only could I not lay on my back to sleep...I couldn't move at all. My skin had curled up in a big red ball, and stretching it out, at all, caused the worst pain known to man. People who are burnt in house fires have all of my sympathies and more.
I've had sunburns on my shoulders that have scarred me for life. No matter what time of year, you can push on my shoulders with your finger...and where you pushed turns white. They are permanently red...forever. Skin cancer, here I come!
This weekend, we went kayaking near Des Moines. It's October, so it was maybe 70 degrees outside. I guess, in our minds, if it's not hot...the sun won't burn. I didn't consider wearing any kind of sunblock. Which is suicide for someone as fair skinned as I am.
As luck would have it, Mother Nature spared me this weekend...and I owe her big. BUT, that's not to say she isn't having a little fun with my stupidity.
I was paddling in a v-necked t-shirt. I have a little farmer's tan action on my left arm (not my right - you explain that one to me!)....I have the triangle of sunburn on my legs....the part that is exposed to the sun, and isn't inside my kayak (it's not an attractive tan line, let me tell ya!!)...but....the worst part is the burn where the v-neck of my shirt doesn't cover the upper part of my chest. It's red, not lobster red, but red. And it's not really sore to the touch. But.....
......it ITCHES like nobodies business!!! This is like the chicken pox, but more cruel...because it's my own fault! I can't wait to get home to find the greasiest, nastiest lotion I can possibly find!!! Surely I have some of that stuff that takes 14 years to work into your skin, even if you only use a microscopic amount.
I made the mistake of scratching at it earlier this morning as I was getting ready for work. I must have still bee half asleep....but let's just say I was awake quickly after. When will I learn??