Thursday, July 9, 2009

Escape plan needed.

Help!!!!!! Seeking new job.

What I can bring to the table:

* certificate in b*llshit (rec'd via on the job training at current position)

* thick skin (it HAS to be thick...as many times as I've been stabbed in the back, I'm still alive to talk about it)

* ability to work under pressure without completely losing my head, and while still holding onto what little sanity I may still have left

* unfortunate tolerance to having my job performance based on the actual performance of others (which means, I'm used to getting yelled at when somebody else doesn't get their job done)

* unfortunate tolerance to gender bias (which means, I'm used to not getting any respect and having no one listen to me because I have boobs and am missing specific pieces of male anatomy)

* large amounts of self control (I mean, come on, I've worked her for like 6 years or so, and haven't shot anybody yet...that has to account for something, yes???)

* Ability to tune out distractions (which means I'm getting really good at ignoring emails and phone calls from customers who want things that just aren't going to happen...because other people aren't getting their job done, and I ultimately get blamed for it....even though I have no power or control over them what so ever)

* They've turned me into a whining, sniveling, cowering mass in the corner. Please help!!!!




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5 comments:

Badass Geek said...

Hey, it looks like we could work at the same place.

How joyous.

Employee No. 3699 said...

After you've planned your escape route can you email me the blueprints?

Nej said...

@ Badass, Oh man...no one else should have to suffer this way. I'll create a diversion...run!!!!!!

@ 3699, I'll send you the blueprints....in triplicate. As soon as I find them. They are hiding, along with my crystal ball and magic wand. :-)

mo.stoneskin said...

I think the ability to tune out distractions is the winner.

Nej said...

@ Mo....It probably is. But it's also the characteristic that is in jeopardy. :-) :-) :-)