Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Dear...



Dear Cure for the Common Cold,

Where oh where are you? Are you shy? Are you afraid of the paparazzi that will surely follow you're every move once you show yourself to the world? Don't be afraid.

If you'd like, you can stay at my house. I have a nice guest room. No one will every think to look for you there. It can be our little secret. I even promise to pretend I'm sick once and while, to throw them off the trail.

This is just plain silly, don't you think??? You can help so many people!!!

COME ON!!!! Come out of hiding, you miserable excuse for a cure! Where are you already? We've been patiently waiting, and we're not going to wait any longer. If we can't find you, we'll find your family. Don't think we won't!!!

I'm SICK AND TIRED of snot rolling from my nose, uncontrollably. I'd like to talk and laugh without hocking up a lung. Is that so much to ask???

What do you want already? Money? My first-born? You name it, and we'll make a deal!

Signed,
Desperately Seeking the Cure
Omaha, NE

8 comments:

mo.stoneskin said...

I don't think the common cold is afraid of anything, sadly. It just doesn't want to leave that's all!

Lyvvie said...

Awwww, shame darling. I don't think there is a cure, only drugs to help you cope with your symptoms. I rely on sinex nasal spray when I have a cold. I hate a stuffed nose.

Get better soon. Chicken soup and chamomile tea thoughts to you.

Brook said...

Sounds like a bad one. Has Mot made you any chicken soup-from scratch-yet? It might help. Poor thing. Long distance hugs(mostly cause I don't want it)Rest!

Cowguy said...

Wear a dirty sock around your neck for 2 weeks. It's like a miracle.

Really.

GWS!

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

It mutates way too quickly to develop an effective shot for it.

Try the zinc. It's lovely this time of year.

Nej said...

@ Mo - The common cold and the cure for the common cold are like Wile E. Coyote and the sheepdog...I swear to it. They battle during the day, but punch a time clock at night. I'm sure they're buddies, and enjoy watching us suffer. :-)

@ Lyvvie - I've got quite the cold medicine cocktail going on. But it seems to have worked, I feel MUCH better today. I could actually walk from the bedroom to the living room, without having to sit down halfway there to rest. :-) Thank goodness!!

@ Brook - Our kitchen is all torn up, the counters are being put in today, so no homemade chicken soup for me. :-(

@ Cowguy - a dirty sock, eh? If anything, it would keep the people who gave me this darn cold away!! :-)

@ mJenks - The common cold is a smart sucker, isn't it? Nothing worse than an intelligent ailment!!!

My multivitamin has zinc in it...supposedly 100% of my recommended daily allowance. (If you can believe the label of a multivitamin.) I wonder if they sell it in liquid form so I can inject it directly into my system? Probably not. (hehe)

curlywurlygurly said...

the common cold is having a torrid affair with you...and can't bear to part. you have to get nasty and start nagging and being a psycho, then don your flannel pjs. that always drives them away. ahahah.

Nej said...

@ CWG - I even tried the not showering or washing my hair thing. No brushing of teeth. Thinking it would be so disgusted it would leave. No such luck! Threatening it yesterday DID seem to do the trick though. I must remember this for next time! :-)