Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Funk

Mot's been in a funk for a week or so now. And somehow, he puts me in funk wondering why he's in a funk.. You know the drill. It's in a marriage handbook somewhere, right??

In my attempts to cure the funk, I've tried the following....

1) I haven't been asking him to help with household chores, there is a list of 2 things I'd like him to do on the board in the kitchen. It's been there for 2 weeks...so I'm assuming he'd rather I clean the nasty meatloaf pan. I did all the other dishes...but left it for him...it's disgusting...doesn't he know what aluminum foil is for crying out loud????

2) I've done the grocery shopping alone so he wouldn't have to go with me. And on said grocery trip I bought him a jar of zesty dill pickles (his new favorite) and a caffeine in a can drink he loves so well. You know, the ones that taste like liquid metal when you drink them??



3) Bills are paid, Christmas shopping is almost done (and he's had to participate in it very little), everyone is healthy.

Basically, life is not hard for him right now......so I can't figure out the funk.

He's able to come home from work in the morning and plays WoW all day (he's a fireman, 24 hour shifts)...or he can go to his folks' house to hunt THEN comes home to play WoW. Then, he stops playing for long enough to say hi and eat supper, then go back up to play more WoW.
Yesterday was day we hit the top of my "funk threshold." The point where I just can't take it anymore...and honestly stop caring if my little things make the funk worse. If I try to help it out, it gets worse, so why not just be myself and let it get worse. It's easier for me that way. :-)

The night before, he'd done a "WoW, then hunt, then WoW...then NOT help me unload the groceries when I got home...even though he knew I was home" day. (He said he didn't know I was there....but him yelling "hi honey" down the stairs gave it away!!!!) Then continued playing WoW all evening...without worrying where I was....if, in fact, he yells "hi honey" every so often, and really didn't know I was home yet...shouldn't he then be wondering why I'm not home yet???

I digress......

I went upstairs, after everything was put away, and I'd eaten dinner. It was about 8:30, and I'd had enough. I gave him the "you're cheating on me with the computer again, and I don' t appreciate it" look...and walked back downstairs. Words are not unnecessary in marriage!!!!

Then, yesterday am, I told him something I thought would cheer him up (and I thought this, because he'd been asking me when our next trip East was going to be) that the weekend of the 19th-21st might be a good time to go to Des Moines. Do I get smiles???

NOOOO!!!

I get a big sigh, and then male adult pouting.

For crying out loud!!!!!!

(sigh) "What's wrong now?" (probably not the best choice of words for me, I admit it)

"No, that's fine...you don't want to hunt that weekend."

Where the f*ck did that come from??? I say "Honey, did you want to go hunting that weekend? If so, you need to tell me....and not pretend that I have magical mind reading powers."

(I probably didn't actually say the magical mind reading powers thing....but I really wish I would have....although, I'm sure Mot can tell you that the look on my face probably came really close)

"No, we'll go to Des Moines" and he opens his book to start reading.

Somehow this is supposed to make me understand the conversation is over...but he should know better....right? You can't just open a book and get me to stop a conversation that is furthering the funk...no how, no way!!!!!

He wants to spend time with me, he wants to hunt with me....OK, I get that part. But if he wants to spend time with me....try spending SOME of the 24/7 he's currently on the computer playing with strangers (except Pool, we met him, so now I can't call him a stranger), and come say hi.

I mean, if he doesn't want to join me TV watching, there's nothing saying he can't say "Hey Nej, let's go {insert activity here}."

Mel, take you mind out the gutter. :-)

The guy is going to go to North Platte to hunt with his brother...then the next thing I know, he's not going.....then during the day yesterday, his brother calls my cell phone. I didn't answer it...you know why??? Because I can guarantee you that the only reason brother is calling is because Mot didn't tell him he wasn't coming...and they're wondering where the heck he is. NO WAY I'm going to be the bearer of that bad news. Nuh uh!

OK, as crazy as it seems, his brother calling my phone (and me not answering) made me feel better though? Why? Because he's jerking around with someone else too. It means his funk isn't personal towards me. Yippeee!!!! :-)

I'm normally an advocate for communication. Everyone who knows me, knows this about me. But when Mot gets really funky, I just shut up. The silent treatment seems to be the preferred method. He'll eventually get over it, or tell me what's up...sooner or later.

It kills me the whole time....not talking about it.....but I just get worn and beaten down sometimes. :-)

So....as I'm leaving the gym last night (yeah Nej) he calls.....all happy, smiley and such. Thank goodness.....that is, thank goodness until I found out why he was all happy and smiley.

He's packing up his stuff to go to North Platte hunting.

I'll admit it, it bums me out when strangers are the ones to cheer my Mot up. Shouldn't that job be mine? So, when I can't do it....I feel as though I've failed in my marriage vows or something. :-)

He's been there all day today, and I've heard nothing from him. Hope he's having fun. And he BETTER be in a good mood when he gets back!!! Damn it!

3 comments:

Me! said...

WAIT! YOU told ME that communication was uber important -- are you saying you didn't take your own advice?! :-)

I'm only joking, but I think I know how you're feeling. Sounds like some time away from WoW would be great for both of you ...

Mel said...

Well. I definitely get the WoW thing - when that damn game gets its claws in you - its bad. There are many days that I wish that someone crazy enough would do a "jihad" on their server farms just so people can get their lives back. Shel will agree that I too get into a funk but she forces me to communicate and she knows exactly what "strings" to pull to make me care enough to comply. She scares me. ~shiver.....

KayakNej said...

I know, I know....Somehow I KNEW you were going to give me crap. :-) :-) I love it!

I tried the communication thing, and it wasn't flying this time. Sometimes, it just doesn't work with him. Ugh!

Men complain about never figuring women out....if they only knew they were just as bad, if not worse!!!! :-)