Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Why I Could Never Have Kids (Reason 762)

I have two cats and three dogs. One dog has diabetes and is blind....one dog is getting older and more stubborn every day.....one dog is just dumb, he's a sweetheart, but he's not bright...one cat hates me...and one cat....well, one cat should be dead. But for some reason, she's not. Don't ask me why!!!!

I came home with every intention of getting something done. But, it just wasn't in the cards. I made my favorite "Mot isn't home" meal - Mac and Cheese!!!

After eating, I watched a dvr'd episode of NCIS, then turned on The Biggest Loser....and decided that I could accomplish allot during the commercial breaks. First break, dishes. Second break, feed the dogs. Third break, down in the basement to do laundry.

As I'm folding clothes, Morgan (the 'should be' dead cat) keeps jumping up on the piles of folded clothes....which is nothing new. She's in a mood though, you can just tell. After getting the clothes that have been in the dryer for days (and are wrinkled beyond recognition) folded, I go over the baskets at the bottom of the laundry chute. Morgan jumps in the baskets, as usual......but, this is where is we deviate from the normal. She looks up at me, squats down, and proceeds to pee in the basket, on top of all the dirty clothes.

At first I just stared at her. I mean, there's no way she's doing that. This is the cat that is religious about using her litter box. What the f*ck!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Finally, I jolt myself out of a trance, and start screaming at her. She just looks up at me, and continues on. I start throwing the clothes I have in my hand at her. The only thing that accomplished, was adding to the targets she had to pee on. She continued on. How much liquid can this cat possibly expel from her body in one sitting?? Holy hell?!?!?!?!?!?!

I pick her up, and do everything I can to not THROW her AT the litter box right around the corner. I may not have thrown her at it, but I dropped her, heavily, into it none the less.

What do you do when your kid purposefully acts up like this, right in front of you?? You can't pick them up and throw them at the toilet. :-( She hasn't shown herself since I've come upstairs....maybe she's not as stupid as she looks???

How can something so cute be so d*mned evil??

No comments: