My dog of 13 years died on Tuesday. Lady Penelope of the Loess "Penny"
Not the best picture of her...but the picture is "her." I mean...she loved being outside, no matter the weather (which is why she's so shaggy in this pic...she wanted to be outside 24/7...so we kept her fur long during the winter)....and also explains the dead grass all over. She was a tom boy, so to speak. Never afraid to get dirty. Her nose was always covered in dirt. :-)
We had to take her to the vet and have her put down. We noticed her breathing was labored....and one day, while trying to remove all 70 million tons of snow from our roof....we also noticed that she'd decided to stop walking. (sigh) A couple hours, a drive to my hometown, and a vet bill later....she was diagnosed with congestive heart failure.
Mot took her in for her followup appointment the following week (last week), and I was truly afraid she wasn't going to come home with him. It had gotten that bad.
Tuesday was, yet again, another followup. But I took the morning off of work and went along. I knew what was going to have to happen....and I wasn't happy about it.
How do you decide to end the life of someone (something?) who trusts you, but can't speak for themselves? They aren't in pain, but are uncomfortable and has a low quality of life, and getting lower each day. Tuesday was the 4th day of her refusing to eat.
So that, coupled with the fact we haven't seen sunshine since we left Denver two weeks ago.....I'm just "off". I'm a little easier to anger, a little easier to tears, and all I want to do it curl up in my bed and hide. Now my dog is dead, our puppy is, well, a puppy, and driving me insane. The one remaining male Scotty is jealous of the puppy, and marking anything of mine he can find. Bowling bag, new wool coat.....(sigh).
I want to go back to Denver, do you think it's still sunny there? It doesn't have to be Denver...it can be Detroit, San Jon....anywhere with sun. Do any of you live where the sun is out? Do you have a spare bed...couch.....piece of floor I can sleep on??? I never thought I'd say it, but I need a massage, a facial, a pedicure, about 7 hours in a tanning booth....and any other pampering (and UV light providing) I can think of.
Plus, I'm falling behind on my commitments. Elliott - I swear....the post I've been working on for you will appear soon.....I promise!!!!!!!! I just don't want to write it while so darned down in the dumps....because the post is quite the opposite!!!!! :-)
I'm also falling horribly behind on my blog reading. I started back up a little today, so if I haven't commented on your posts lately, it's nothing personal. I'll get caught up. No worries. :-)
16 comments:
No apologies necessary. As much as I 'complain' about the dammit (who has a given name, Quincy), I cannot bear to envision our lives with him gone. It took me many years to get over the loss of my childhood dog, and while I relented and let the girls get Quincy, it was years longer before I'd allow him to wear a red collar.
My heartfelt sympathies. If it were sunny here in Florida, you'd be welcome to our guest room, but alas, it's not.
@ Elliott - thanks!!!!! I'd like to say "no more pets"....but it's kinda hard when we have a brand new puppy in the house. :-)
It's not sunny there either? I think it's a conspiracy. The sun has exploded, and "they" don't want us to know. Eventually, Earth will be swallowed in the explosion backlash, and we'll have some really bright light (for a very short time, mind you). :-) :-)
I just found something in my email to that effect...
Give a man a fire, he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
We get glimpses of sun, it was sunny yesterday but today is gray and gloomy.
I'll hit that paypal button of yours if you send me one of those sunshine glimpses. :-)
Oh Nej! So sorry about your dog...that's very hard! hugs to you. The sun JUST came out here in Vermont after a week or so (I can't remember). You are always welcome in the moonspun household!
Hang in though...
No, it's overcast here. It WAS sunny, but you know what they say about the weather...
...well, whatever it is they say about the weather, it changed here. Got chilly and rainy and overcast. Really putting a damper on the fact that, star-gazing wise, this is the best time of the year.
I'm sorry about your dog.
@ Moonspun, I'm booking plane ride now. I've never been to Vermont. :-)
@ mjenks - What DO they say about the weather??? They used to say if you don't like it, wait 10 minutes. At least, that's what they say here in Nebraska. As of right now....if you don't like the weather, wait three weeks, and then find out you've got another week of it, at the very least. :-)
I'm so sorry! No apologies needed. Take your time.
I'm back & you've been missed!
Oh, I'm so sorry you lost your dog. We went through that two years ago with our beloved malamute, and it was so very painful. We were so reluctant to make that choice, and then he decided to go on his own. Then a year later we had to make the decision again for our "boarder" dog, Mr. Lumpy. This time we eased his way, but it was so hard.
She looks so sweet with all that grass on her.
You will always miss her, but the pain will lessen as time goes by.
Awww I really do feel for you and Penelope. Not ever having owned a dog I can't truly relate, but when my wife's parents' dog died a few years ago I saw how painful it can be.
@ Badass - I feel better about the decision every day. It was the right thing to do. :-)
@ Phat Mama - YOU'VE been missed too!!! Glad you're back!!!
@ g - one is bad enough, but when there are two so close together, it really stinks.
@ mo - it's crazy how attached we get to our pets. We don't have kids, so they become our children, in a way.
Nej-I'm so sorry. You did the right thing which is all any of us can do. Sometimes that choice is the only one we can make, no matter how sad it makes us. In and effort to alleviate your grief, how would you like a crazy chihuahua to take the edge off? He'll keep your big boy busy I can guarantee, and they can get in pissing contests and everything. I'll even fly him up to you! Along with myself of course... (((Hugs)))
@ Brook - that puppy needs another dog to pick on...big time. Our one remaining Scotty is older, and doesn't want to have much to do with her. Men. :-)
:-) :-)
I'm so sorry, Mot & Nej.
I can truly relate - my precious dog, Kate, is always with me.. we had her cremated and her ashes are on my desk.
To some that may sound strange but, eh.. she was my third child, in some ways.
I did a post for her, just as you have and if you get time, here is the link:
http://sassandass.blogspot.com/2009/05/all-dogs-go-to-heaven.html
Yeah, even P. Mama can get sobby now and then.
@ Phat Mama - I immediately read your blog post when I got in to work today. Good thing no one was around. (sniff) I couldn't have said it any better. The one single lick on the tip of the nose did it for me. That's what Penny used to do. Just one lick....but that one lick was worth a million.
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