Friday, January 30, 2009

What do you do.....

.....when you are married to a guy that got to experience things when he was young, and you didn't?

How do you go out and do things, when he doesn't want to go along? How do you handle wanting to try new things, and step outside the box...when it's a box he's been outside of already and doesn't want to go?

How do you explain to him you want to go on a vacation that might be more work than vacation?

How do you verbalize the need to do something you feel would be an accomplishment?

Something you want to do so you can say "I did that." Something you can experience that not everyone gets (or wants) to do. Something that wasn't easy, something that wasn't going to be 100% pleasant the entire time.

Something that sounds like fun to you. But once you do it, and find it wasn't can at least you can say "I tried that."

What if you really don't mind if he doesn't want to go, because you know not everyone wants to do the same things you do. You understand it might not be his thing. But don't want to fall into the separate vacation trap.

How do you tell him you wished he was just a little excited about your excitement? How do you tell him it frustrates you when he comes up with all the reasons your idea isn't going to work, or is going to be too expensive...but if it's his plan, he emails you links, he talks about it constantly - price be damned.

Why is it if it's his dream, what he can make it work.....but if it's what you want to do, he points out how it's going to be expensive and not fun?

How can you compete with the rush of skydiving?

The thrill of riding a superbike?

How can you possibly compete with the idea of a new puppy???

How do you tell him when even though he may say he's supportive, he has a really strange way of showing it?

How do you remind him that you have (more than once) spent a week of vacation doing something you would rather dig your eyeballs out with a spoon, than do?

Do you use your "it's my turn" card and go on a vacation where he'll be miserable and grouchy?

Or do you say "Fine, stay home, I'll go."?

Photo found online @


Brook said...

Well after 10 years I have decided there is nothing to do or say to make them "get it". So guess what, I am going for a weekend alone. Not vacation, not work, just alone time. Me and myself. No kids, dogs, dishes, dirty clothes or hubby. Just me and maybe the ocean. Or a book. Or both. And quiet. Let's not forget the quiet.

Nej said...

I could handle a little ocean time. I'm exactly as far away from it, as you can get in the states, but oh well. :-) :-)

We're celebrating our 9th anniversary soon...still a young marriage.

I think I'm just having a bad day. :-)

Lyvvie said...

I go without him. Nothing worse than dragging someone to something you want to to enjoy and they sigh and pout over your fun. You can't make him fake his fun.

I'm far more outgoing than my Husband and just get used to doing things on my own. Or find a like minded friend - I'm sure there's someone else who wants to do these things and has a bootfaced partner too.